Lately, HRH has developed the most jarring squeal! She likes the sound of her own voice. Nine times out of ten, it's a happy squeal (is there such a thing???) not a stroppy, whingy tantrum-type squeal like the kid in the supermarket when I was pregnant and at my pre-pregnancy know-it-all best. Happy or not though, it pierces your eardrum and an acute headache sets in after about four hours of it, making you wonder how much worse US torture in an illegal prison camp somewhere not on a map could really be.
Anyway, I digress from the reason for this post. It is currently 11.01pm and the 4 little charmers next door are only just now going to bed!! I can appreciate that it is a public holiday tomorrow and all that jazz, but seriously! My child's a squealer, I realise that, it's annoying, a tad mind-numbing, a little embarassing for the other new neighbours with whom we share a common wall, BUT AT LEAST SHE ONLY DOES IT DURING BUSINESS HOURS!! These kids have been at it until just now. Their Mum has only now decided to shut all of the windows. How freaking considerate of you! It only took my daughter 3 hours and 46 minutes to fall asleep!! For that, I really must thank you. Especially after such a splendidly shithouse day!
I'm easing into the idea of having a boisterous toddler who makes it her mission in life to mow down the poor bloody dog with her wooden wagon at every opportunity.
I'm making peace with the reality of her growing obsession with emptying my grocery cupboard.
I'm even marvelling at her brilliance in taking only half a day to work out how to bypass the childproof locks to get into the cupboard in the first place.
But for the love of God, PLEASE don't make me beg you to soundproof your home on account of my impending insanity!! You guys are really quite cool. I (mostly) dig your music taste and your kids are positively angelic compared to the last pack of ferals that lived there before you. But I wanted us to be like the proper neighbours, you know? I mean, we don't have to partner-swap or anything ala Melrose Place, we don't even need to frequent each other's houses too often and live in each others pockets and have coffee dates and shit.
All I want is recognition of the fact that regretably, housing estates in Sydney these days are laid out such that you cannot help but hear everything going on next door. I try to be considerate of this fact when I'm yelling inventive threats at the dog/cat/bird/Huz/Baby. What say, in return for you restricting your little nightmares to daytime squealing competitions, I promise to stop muttering under my breath to the Huz about your morally questionable practice of letting your little cherub daughters sing Papa Don't Preach on Karaoke at the tops of their underdeveloped, innocent lungs EVERY SECOND FREAKING DAY! Deal? GOOD.
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LOL! Ummmm ... good luck with that! My experience is (a) most of today's parents are completely oblivious to the need, benefit and courteous nature of regular (and early) bedtime schedules for little ones, and (b) most of those misguided doting parents can't be convinced their little divas are anything but Star material with angelic voices!! I resorted to (a) nighttime airconditioning, which allowed me to close MY windows, and then (b) turning on a radio in my son's room to drown out the remaining din from irrational and rude neighbors!
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